The Chris Effect

I noticed a little while ago that a bag of Cheetos contains “artificial flavouring.” I assume they mean the cheese flavour, because what else would they need? I don’t taste anything else, anyway. Artificial flavouring can only mean one thing – no cheese. So where do they get this cheese flavour, since it apparently didn’t come from cheese? I don’t understand. Artificial sweetener is one thing; there are lots of sweet substances on Earth – honey, maple syrup, various fruits, etc – but not cheese. Cheese is cheese because it’s cheese. Where else but in cheese can you get the taste of cheese?

Perhaps someone a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, mixed a few chemicals in their nifty science lap and ingested them, and discovered that the new concoction tasted like cheese. I bet it didn’t go down like that. First of all, there are artificial flavourings for many different kinds of cheeses; cheddar, mozzarella, swiss, etc, and that’s just in one country. I think the Discovery channel should run a piece on the origins of cheese. Maybe they just took the cheese and removed most of the ingredients, so that it still tasted and smelled like cheese, but was no longer considered cheese. What they had then, was cheese flavouring.

Supposing that, then, why couldn’t they just add cheese to everything? Like ice cream? Cheese flavoured ice cream. Cheese lollipops. Cheese gum. Cheese deodorant spray. Cheese air-fresheners. And lastly, cheese-flavoured condoms.

What a strange little world I live in.

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This entry was posted on January 26, 2010 at 23:34 and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.