Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country
It’s been a little while since my last review. This is not because I took a holiday, but because I took a leisure trip to visit a friend. This is the same friend I’d mentioned in an earlier review whose favourite Star Trek film was Khan’s Revenge. I’ve known this friend for a long time, and never knew she was a fan, so the term ‘friend’ was now up for debate. So we had it out, and, well I’ll spare the details, but friends we remain.
This movie was dedicated to Gene Roddenbury, who must have died sometime since the last film. This movie also ended the trend of having cast members direct. I guess when Shatner took the reins and began steering the series into something decent they realized they couldn’t allow for that. Oh well. At least they didn’t remove him from the series completely – although I hear that happens eventually. Damn Trekkies.
When it begins, Sulu is captain of the Excelsior, which was on its way home from a three-year mission completely intact. I guess Starfleet was right to retire the aging Enterprise when they had this beast to replace it. Their trip, however, was not without incident, as they got caught in the explosion of one of the Klingon planets (and they stubbornly refuse help even in the aftermath). The Excelsior survives this blast like a trooper, but unfortunately, Sulu spills his tea. I think this may have been intentional, as he had plenty of time to retrieve it. Maybe it wasn’t very good tea.
The exploding planet can only mean one thing: the Klingons are doomed in, say, fifty years. So negotiations are opened and they want to stop terrifying the Earthlings and be friends, share planets, and have sleepovers and stuff. So some head Klingon is going to meet with Starfleet and they’re all gonna have peace talks. Spock, who somehow has more authority than Kirk now, seems to be in charge of this operation, and nominates him to go pick up the Klingon ambassador. Kirk, who hates all things Klingon and thinks they can’t be trusted, is understandably pissed – they killed his son!
But Kirk does his job begrudgingly. He once again takes the helm of the Ford Enterprise II (lord knows why…), but this time without Sulu. Instead we have a new pilot, another Vulcan, who again was chosen by Spock. Is it possible for that guy to even consider a human for once? Dude, stop being so racist! Anyway, she seems to to have a lot in common with Kirk; his rebellious nature, his view that Klingons are evil, his bed (soon enough).
They rendezvous with the Klingon Bird Of Prey (this one seems to be wearing a hat), and invite the ambassador and his minions over for dinner. The ambassador is played by David Warner, who played a smaller role in the previous film (and is still awesome). And I swear one of his minions is played by Patrick Stewart, who plays the captain of the Enterprise, Jean-Luc Picard, in some other Star Trek tv series (or much more importantly, Professor X in the X-Men films). He seems to take a liking to Kirk; although whether it’s because he’s gay or just hates Kirk (keeps your enemies close and all that), we’ll have to wait to find out. Anyway, dinner was a huge hit. And by that I mean it wasn’t.
The Klingons return to their ship, and everyone still hates each other, the way nature intended. Spock is the only one still trying to make peace, which is starting to irritate everyone. He later learns that the Ford Enterprise II is leaking radiation or something (typical; it was just a matter of time before the ship began having problems), right before it attacks the Bird Of Prey. Then two white power rangers beam aboard the Klingon ship to kill the ambassador and anyone who gets in the way, spilling laughably bad purple CGI blood everywhere. This is a shock to everyone, since no one ordered an attack. Kirk and Bones then beam over to try to settle this mess, explaining that it wasn’t them, even though all the evidence is against them. They try but fail to save the Klingon ambassador, and then Jean-Luc Klingon takes them prisoner. The ambassador’s daughter, who looks as old as he did, takes over as the new ambassador, and intends to continue with the peace talks with Earth, even though the remaining Klingons now think that’s a bad idea.
Now, I have a problem. The Klingons have their own ambassador. They got their own ship. Why did anyone need to mess with that? Why did Spock need to send Kirk and crew, who obviously didn’t want to go in the first place, to, what, escort them? Did no one think the Klingons could find their way to the peace conference on their own? Logic, Spock! Logic! This entire thing could have been avoided if Spock hadn’t gotten everyone involved.
But I digress. Kirk and Bones stand trial for the attack, and are eventually found guilty. As everyone watches, they’re sentenced to spend the rest of their lives on some prison planet, which is essentially an underground mine on the Star Trek equivalent of Hoth. They make friends with a huge pig guy and hot alien chick, who tells them there’s a bounty on their heads. Then Kirk get his ass kicked by a big blue guy and…well let’s just say they have lots of fun in prison.
Meanwhile Spock and the new Vulcan pilot begin searching for clues as to just how everything went down. It was obviously a set up. They figure another Bird Of Prey was in the area and fired on the other Klingon ship, and could do so without uncloaking. This would account for the huge surge in energy that they thought was coming from their own ship. Then, as is to my understanding, two of its crew beamed aboard the Ford Enterprise II, reprogrammed the computer to think that IT had done the firing, then grabbed what must be the only two white suits, and jumped to the Klingon ship to assassinate the ambassador (all without being caught). Then, for some reason they came back to the Ford Enterprise II (instead of their own ship) to hide. Makes tons of sense. While they try to get evidence to support this crazy theory they keep stalling on communicating with Starfleet and going home.
Back on Hoth, Kirk, Bones, and the hot alien chick, who turns out to be a shapeshifter, organize an escape. This, of course, is another set up by the Klingons. Fortunately for them Spock and crew had zeroed in on their location. Kirk and Bones were just about to be told what the whole thing was about, and then killed, when they’re beamed back aboard the Ford Enterprise II. Couldn’t they have waited just a few more seconds?
Kirk and Bones are being caught up on recent affairs when they finally find the bodies of the two assassins, themselves assassinated. This can only mean that there’s a third party, whom they eventually find to be the new Vulcan pilot. They learn from her of the other assassinations in progress – at the peace talks, and get captain Sulu of the Excelsior to fill them in on where the new peace talks are taking place; Earth, wouldn’t you know it? They make haste to the peace rally, keeping an eye out for any Klingon ships that just happen to be invisible.
En route to the rally, they finally encounter the other Bird Of Prey. It blasts the hell out of the Ford Enterprise II, which takes it in the ass like a champ; guess they gave it some extra padding in the walls. The Excelsior shows up to supply more cannon fodder, while Spock and Bones redesign some torpedoes to seek gas fumes – like the kind emitted from tailpipes – and destroy the source; ie, an engine. This somehow means that the torpedoes will only attack the cloaked Bird Of Prey instead of the Excelsior, which must run on magic. The resulting explosion reveals the Klingon ship, which as then destroyed when the two Starfleet ships gang bang it to death.
Kirk and crew then quickly beam down to Earth and thwart the assassination attempt. In return for their heroism, the crew is to be retired, and never have to endure stupid missions like this again. They all knew this day was coming, so they take off for one last spin around the galaxy. The End.
While I don’t think this movie was better than The Final Frontier, it was still pretty good. It didn’t have time travel, whales, or Khan in it. David Warner had more screen time than in the last movie. Uhura kept her clothes on. Unfortunately this film got bogged down with politics, and lord help me I just don’t give half a shit about politics. And when watching the credits I learned that Patrick Stewart did not have a role in this movie after all; that part was actually played by Christopher Plummer. Meh.
This movie definitely had the best ending though, with the crew practically saying goodbye to all the Trekkies, and even managing to stir up some emotions in me (but ONLY because I knew that this was the last time I’d see William Shatner as Kirk). While I initially thought this was sort of a bowing down to a new era (the new tv series), I had to do some research to learn that I was wrong. The new, second series on tv began in 1987, two years before The Final Frontier. So they made not one but two movies using the original cast after beginning a new series with a new cast. I guess they knew they couldn’t keep it up forever. They will be missed.
William Shatner went on to star in Boston Legal, the best lawyer show ever on tv.
The Chris Effect 
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