Cellphones
I’m sure you’ve by now you’ve heard about the new law that says you can’t talk on your cellphone while driving. Hopefully you didn’t have to find out the hard way that it’s a federal offense now. It doesn’t make sense to me, and thusly I disapprove of it.
Actually, let me just say that I agree with the no texting part. Almost caused many accidents for me.
Let me be more specific here; it’s illegal to physically hold the phone to your ear and talk to someone on the other end at the same time as you’re driving. This is what doesn’t make any sense. You see, there are only two possible conclusions to be drawn here: either (A) they don’t want people communicating with others while driving, or (B) they want people to keep both hands on the wheel at all times. If the government wants either of those things there’s going to be problems.
First, (A), no communication. So this means that you can’t talk to anyone, not even your own passengers, apparently. Forget asking a passenger for directions – you’ll have to use your GPS. Forget telling the kids in the back to sit down and shut up – leave them at home. And what about trying to communicate with people outside the vehicle? Don’t bother to wave to someone – that’s what the horn is for. And don’t bother to wave someone ahead of you – they’re on their own. Oh, and when the police tell you to pull your vehicle over to the side of the road, you’ll have to ignore them – after all, they’re breaking the law by trying to communicate with you.
Fortunately, all this is circumvented by allowing drivers to use a hands-free or bluetooth device to continue to talk all you want. For some reason this is acceptable, even though it in no way changes anything.
Secondly (B), keep your hands on the wheel. I understand that not talking on your phone, or at least using a device other than your phone, does leave your hands free to, well, I guess keep them on the steering wheel, but I just don’t see what that accomplishes. If they only want you to keep your hands on the wheel they’ve got another thing coming. Does that mean you can’t change the radio station? Can’t grab a sip of your tasty beverage (I know some people can’t seem to drink and drive at the same time, but that’s a rant for another day)? Can’t roll down the window? Put the heat on? Scratch an itch? What about doing things that would actually help you drive? Like adjusting the dimming on the rearview mirror? Or putting down your visor when the sun gets too bright? Turning on the headlights? Putting on the defroster? Shifting gears?
Oh yeah, that’s right. It’s now apparently illegal to drive a stick shift. Oh dear.
I know many of these things can be done with buttons that are on or next to the steering wheel, but not on all cars. And the cops can’t pull you over for simply driving a certain make and model of vehicle. Otherwise the scenario would be something like, “Well, I can’t go to work today because it looks like it’s gonna rain and my window wiper button is a huge seven inches away from the steering wheel. The cops will be just watching for my car today.”
I realize that this is just an attempt to improve safety on our roads by getting people to focus on driving, but this law, for all its nobility, won’t accomplish that. Accidents will continue to happen because most of the people on the road don’t know how to drive. THAT is the problem, not cellphones.
The only way to guarantee there are fewer accidents is to stop giving licenses to anyone who knows how to start a car, and kick the rest of the idiots off the road permanently.
The Chris Effect 
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