Do you know what the secret is? Have you heard? Aparently it’s a huge success and everyone’s doing it, which makes me think it’s a poorly kept secret if everyone knows about it. Not much of a secret after all, is it? It started as a book, and then more books. There was a movie in there somewhere too, and now it’s a worldwide phenomenon. And it’s starting to get on my nerves. People I know are talking to me about it – that’s where I draw the line!
The secret, for those who are living under a rock and somehow still have access to the interwebs, is basically the power of positive thinking. I agree with this to a point, except my version is “stop being so fucking negative all the time.” Doesn’t have the same ring to it but it’s more to the point. Their suggestion is that if you keep thinking positively, good things will happen to you and your life will be better. This, of course, is utter bullshit.
Also, if it took this ridiculously simple concept global recognition and acceptance to gain a foothold in the minds of the people, then it’s either not a simple concept, or people are mindless sheep. Guess which theory I’m banking on.
Life is in the mind. Everything in the world around you is all in how you choose to look at it. If war breaks out in a foreign country, it’s completely up to you if you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing. That’s your opinion, your decision. No one can tell you how or what to think. Everyday occurances all boil down to how you choose to accept them. As far as I’m concerned, that’s what the secret is, or at least should be. Hell, if you’re really good at it, you could go your entire life without enduring a single bad experience, since it’s up to you what you consider to be bad.
These people, on the other hand, are suggesting that your life will actually improve if you practice this approach, which is just not true. Let’s say you get hit by a car one day. Thinking about it positively doesn’t make it a good thing. That’s not the kind of thing you should be happy about. People still need to rationalize things properly, otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster. That’s how people end up on rooftops with sniper rifles, and people saying “he always seemed so nice.”
Turning a blind eye to things doesn’t make them go away. Thinking things will get better doesn’t mean they will. Thinking often leads to overthinking, which leads to worrying, which leads to stress, and no good can come of that. Now, a positive outlook is not a bad thing to have. Keep smiling and say “tomorrow is another day.” Nobody likes a downer. But having a positive attitude alone won’t change a thing. Shit will still happen indescriminantly, whenever and wherever it pleases.
You know what gets results? Actions. Fuck positive thinking; positive actions is where it’s at. Positive actions get results. Being proactive lands you the job. Confidence helps you nail the girl (although money helps – see previous sentence). And actually believing in your lies will convince her that you’re not cheating – and help you pass a polygraph test to prove it.
For all you glass-half-empty people out there, here’s something to consider when people nag you for being so negatve. Let’s say you’re in a fight or something, and being negative, you don’t think you’ll win. People will say, “don’t think like that!” or “Don’t be so negative!” Tell them you’re positive you’ll lose. Positive is the opposite of negative, last time I checked. Or tell them you’re confident in your opponent’s ability to beat you. See, you’re not so negative after all. They don’t know what they’re talking about. There’s always another way to think about things. And when the other guy kicks your ass, you can say, “told you.” Unless your jaw is broken. And if they’re still on your case about it, remind them that if they were so positive you were going to win, then why didn’t you? Their confidence in you didn’t help at all. So suck it.
So you see, simply thinking about things positively doesn’t affect reality. Thinking you’re God’s gift to women won’t make you a ladies man. Hoping for a cure for your syphilis won’t make them discover a cure any faster. And all the wishful thinking in the world won’t improve your odds on winning the lottery.
Positive thinking alone won’t solve anything. Unless you’re a telepath.
The Chris Effect 