For those of you who don’t watch the Price Is Right, Plinko is a game for contestants. It involves betting on cheap products to win ‘chips’ that are slid down a vertical board into slots with designated amounts of prize money. For those who do watch that game show, you’ll need no introduction whatsoever. In fact, you’re all probably excited by the mere mention of the name. I’ll say it again. Plinko. I’m sure I just gave someone an orgasm.
My question is: why? Why do people lose their minds over this game? They go bonkers. In fact, I’m willing to bet all the Plinko fans reading this are probably pissed off at me right now. Oh no, he’s not attacking Plinko is he?
Yes I am.
Plinko is a stupid game. There, I said it. It’s fucking stupid. But let me explain why: it’s impossible. People are told they could win up to “50,000” and they become completely incontinent. Being a fan of the Price is Right, I can remember a day when Plinko contestants could only win up to $25,000. But I guess the show’s producers realized that the game is so fantastically ridiculous that they had to raise the maximum prize amount higher for, I don’t know, fairness? Does it make the game’s impossible odds seem justifiable? Perhaps. Either way it causes people to lose all bowel control.
Naturally, raising the winnings has absolutely no relevance to the way the game is played or the chances of winning. They could’ve raised the amount to $1,000,000 and it wouldn’t have changed anything. Hell, they could make the entire show about Plinko and create a spin-off. The first ever game show spin-off. It’d get great ratings for sure.
I guess I shouldn’t say it’s impossible; just improbable. But no one likes to hear that. I’ve never seen anyone win more that $5,000, which is still a nice wad of cash to go home with, make no mistake. But most people leave with maybe a couple thousand, tops. Hell, you can make more than that by spinning the wheel, and nobody goes apeshit over that.
For the record, the, uh, record for the regular version of the show (and don’t get me started on that), is $23,000. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s a good chunk of cash. However, it’s still less than HALF the total possible amount to be won. And, technically, to win at the game, you gotta win it all – as in all $50,000 – and since no one has ever done that, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to call the game impossible. Even the legendary Bob Barker himself won’t say the game is beaten unless the entire amount is won, and will refuse to call a show perfect if someone’s played Plinko. The game has never been beaten.
Still, people will hear the name Plinko and immediately drop their pants and squeeze out a dookie on stage in front of a live, televised audience. Do they realize that the odds of winning are roughly 1 in 60,000, and it’s entirely possible win absolutely nothing? I hope maybe they’re so excited to be on stage that they gloss over the disappointment of having to play that shitty game. If I was on that show, and made it up on stage, and they rolled out Plinko for me to play, I’d be pissed. I’d ask for a different game. Has anyone ever done that? Would they let you? Probably not. So I’d have to pretend to go crazy and shout, “Oh my God! Plinko! I’m gonna win a few bucks!”
But I can’t take a shit in public.
The Chris Effect 